I started my first blog in February 2002 on Diaryland. Back then they weren’t even called blogs, they were called “online diaries.” I kept it for nine years, updating it nearly every day, or at least most days per week. It was password protected, shared only with a few friends and some fellow bloggers — some of whom I’m friends with to this day.
I’m so happy I kept that blog that because I have a very detailed record of my life over those years. I would often refer back to it when looking up what I did on, say, Thanksgiving of a certain year, because it’s hard to remember things sometimes.
If you want to get really technical, I started my very first diary when I was nine. A Snoopy diary. I kept written journals all through my adolescence, my 20s, and beyond. There were some gaps, but my life is pretty well documented. I have this drive to record things, to keep track, to not forget. I guess it’s always been there.
I took it down my Diaryland blog about two years ago and converted it into a Word document. Nine years, thousands of entries. It’s amazing how small the file is, and how important.
I removed it from the web because the password ended up in the wrong hands (it’s a really long story) and this person used information in there against me in a Very Bad Way. It was only bad for a little while, though. A blip, really. There were no huge or long-term repercussions. It made me trust a little less. But I didn’t stop blogging.
Shortly after all that happened, I launched another blog on Blogger. Again, password protected. The joy of my original Diarlyand blog, or one of the joys, was the community of bloggers that I connected with. We read each others’ blogs and followed each others’ lives as if they were serial dramas (or sitcoms.) I even met some of them.
But on Blogger, I was sort of alone. I missed the interaction I had with readers. After about two years my updates sort of dwindled. The last entry I wrote was in June.
So, why another blog? Well, I’m interested in trying a different type of blogging I’ve never attempted before — public blogging. The others were super personal, confessional brain dumps, but if this one is public, it can’t “go there.”
I’ve thought about it for years, but I couldn’t figure out where to draw the line in terms of information-giving. I’m a super private person and I’m probably hard to get to know. If I’m talking to someone, I’d rather focus the conversation on them rather than me. The thought of “putting myself out there” was scary, and it still is. I can’t remember who said the quote, “Do something every day that scares you” or whatever it is. Was it Eleanor Roosevelt? I hate doing things that scare me and I avoid doing them. Don’t you?
So yeah, this scares me, but I’m not doing it to challenge myself to overcome my fears like Eleanor or whoever has suggested. I just feel like there might be some things to be gained by public blogging. Maybe making connections with people. Sharing more of who I am — even though it’s possible that nobody will care. Maybe I won’t even care!
As far as the name goes, it doesn’t mean anything. I just like how the words sound together. And it’s pretty twee. I like twee.