How do you stop a vicious cycle?
Published May 29, 2015 by

How do you stop a vicious cycle?

I received a “Sorry We Missed You!” notice in the mailbox this week. I was home all day working and nobody rang or knocked, but that happens sometimes. The real concern was the sender of this certified letter: My old employer.

My heart sank when I saw that. What could they want? The scribble on the notice said I’d have to go to the post office after 11 a.m. the next business day to pick up the letter. So that left about 20 hours to worry.

I worked at this place for several years and I left, wow, a handful of years ago now. I figured a certified letter from a past employer probably can’t be good and I immediately assumed I was in some sort of trouble. Granted, I never did anything wrong or had animosity for anyone there.

And it’s been so long — the only reason they could be tracking me down now is because they were trying to blame me for something. I reasoned that if it was a legal matter, it would have come from the legal counsel, and it wasn’t, it was from them. Wtf is going on?

I Googled “I received a certified letter from a past employer,” which wasn’t the smartest move because I found  a bunch of forum threads on various websites in which people described false accusations of not returning cell phones and other stuff the company owned, issues with taxes and wages and now the company is demanding repayment, and a bunch of other stuff. None of them good.

I managed a budget when I was there — what if they did a deep audit and found some accounting troubles? Not that there would be anything, mind you, at least nothing intentional or shady on my part. (Being falsely accused of something and nobody believing me is a big fear of mine, like what happened recently with the Philadelphia Parking Authority.)

And how did they get my new address? When I worked there, I lived in the house that I now rent out to tenants.

I asked Mike what he thought, and he said it probably had to do with the 401(k) that I still have there. Ah! That would make sense. They’d have access to my new address.

I Googled some 401(k) questions. Did you know that when you switch jobs, you’re supposed to transfer your 401(k)? I had no idea. I must have done that at some point in the past, because the ones from other past jobs all seem to be in the same spot now, except for this one. And if you don’t move your 401(k) after you stop working there, the employer has to pay administration and management fees and the fees might even be taken out of my sum.

I’ve been worrying a lot lately about tons of dumb stuff, which isn’t like me, and I’ve been having trouble sleeping a few nights a week. Even with my allergy and asthma meds, time-release melatonin and three cups of chamomile tea, sometimes I’m up reading until after midnight, not a bit tired. And if I have something on my mind, well, forget it.  After getting that notice I knew sleep was going to be a struggle so I took an extra Benadryl and swallowed a bit of vodka and that seemed to help.

I woke up refreshed and eager to get to the post office to find out wtf these people want from me. I opened the letter in the lobby of the post office and, womp womp. All the worrying, and it WAS over my 401(k). It wasn’t even aimed at me specifically. It was a form letter for everyone who is on their plan letting them know of some changes.

Whew.

So, the answer to my overall issue here with the sleep problems and worrying is exercise. I work from home, I walk Sassy a few blocks in the morning and evening, but other than that, I rarely leave the house or move around very much. I wrote about how I was going to start going to the gym again now that it’s warmer, because I couldn’t bear to walk five blocks in the freezing cold (seriously, cry me a damn river) but it didn’t take.

If I work out 3-4 mornings a week like I used to, I’d be less stressed and more relaxed at night. And I know the key is just to get out of bed and walk to the damn gym. But every single morning I come up with new excuses. My main excuse is I didn’t get enough sleep. And when I don’t get enough sleep, it’s because I don’t do enough during the day to really get tired enough to sleep through the night, so it’s a vicious cycle. I’m sick of it so I need to really do this.

It’s been my experience that working out does make me happier, so why is escaping from this vicious cycle such a struggle? If you have any advice, I’d love to hear it.

Kevin does not feel the same way I do about weird certified letters.
This is how Kev feels about weird certified letters. I agree.

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Snapshot: Some random stuff I’m thinking about
Published May 22, 2015 by

Snapshot: Some random stuff I’m thinking about

I’ve been tinkering with my blog more than I’ve been writing in it (like my new super twee logo?! ) So, I figured I’d write something too. Since I don’t have any good stories or anything interesting to talk about, here’s some random stuff:

What I’m reading: John by Cynthia Lennon. (Thanks for the recommendation, Lor!) Fascinating stuff. I’m at the part where John leaves her for Yoko and I feel so awful for her. I hope she realizes her worth.

What I’m watching: I’m not a huge TV watcher; I usually can’t be bothered looking for things on Netflix or In Demand so I watch whatever is on live TV at the time, usually a cooking competition show, Shark Tank, Seinfeld or The Simpsons. We did stumble upon a new 10-episode series called Wayward Pines that’s pretty good, so I think we’ll keep watching that one. Others I like: Last Man on Earth, Portlandia, Amy Schumer.

What I’m checking: Ask a Manager. If you don’t read this blog, you must if you are a human who has a job or wants one. I’ve learned so much from it. People write in with workplace/job search/hiring/interviewing/weird work situation questions and Alison Green answers them, and she posts new content throughout the day, even on weekends. It also has a super active comment section.

What I’m looking forward to (short-term): Pizza Friday with Mike, the long Memorial Day weekend and my neighborhood’s craft beer festival next weekend.

What I’m looking forward to (long-term): Trip to Scotland in September. We need to start our planning ASAP.

One thing I don’t get that most people seem to enjoy: A lot of stuff. But right now I’d have to say Pinterest. I’ve looked at it a few times, but I don’t think it’s for me. Isn’t it just a big time suck?

One person who makes me proud: My niece Christina joined the Peace Corps and arrived in Senegal in Western Africa in February. She is going to be helping pregnant women and babies at a new clinic in a village called Thiawando. Isn’t that amazing? She has a blog, Tina in Senegal. I miss you, Tina!

One recent discovery: Time-release melatonin. If you have trouble sleeping, go on Amazon and buy this. I took it for the first time last night and slept extremely well and I feel so well-rested today. When I get less than five hours of sleep I feel like my life is falling apart. I don’t know how parents of little babies/kids do it.

One statement that annoys me: People who say they love animals, but they eat meat. Come on, now. You love pets, and that’s okay! Just be accurate.

One thing that makes me fume: The Wedding Industrial Complex. I have plenty of thoughts on this. Mainly, the eagerness to conform when it comes to weddings really baffles me. Do your own thing, girlfriend!

hell One thing I wish more people knew: Craft beer is better than mass market, macrobrew beer (Miller, Coors, Bud, Rolling Rock, Yuengling, Pabst Blue Ribbon, etc.) Craft beer has a more interesting and complex taste, it’s fun to try new releases and seasonal varieties so there’s always something new to discover, and the alcohol content of many craft beers is way higher than cheap macrobrewery beers, like double. Sure, they’re pricier too, but it’s worth it, all things considered. Hell or High Watermelon by 21st Amendment (pictured) is a great summer beer. I have a bunch of favorites, but off the top of my head, two reliable ones are  Perpetual IPA by Troegs and Newbold by the good ol’ Philadelphia Brewing Company. If you’re a beer fan, add me on Untappd, an app where I track the beer I like. My username is J_Laww on there.

One song that won’t get out of my head: “Diet Mountain Dew” by Lana del Rey. It’s been playing in my head pretty much all week. I’ve tried chewing gum because I read that can help, but it didn’t. I don’t really mind that much because I like the song, but it is starting to wear on me. It’s much more awful when you get that annoying Ricky Martin song from the late ’90s or “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham in your head. I speak from experience.

Foods I’m always craving: Pizza, of course. Also, coconut cashews and honey roasted peanuts. I don’t buy the nuts often because they’re expensive and because they’re full of sugar. But when I get my hands on them, I can’t stop eating them til they’re all gone.

New fun activity I’ve discovered: Coloring books! My friend Paul gave me two coloring books (one is “Creative Cats” pictured above) and a set of colored pencils and I’ve really been enjoying it. It helps me relax and zone out. The coloring books are super detailed but I plan to do each one, then we’re going to hang them  in our downstairs powder room. It might take me a year or two, but I love long-term projects.

What’s on your mind lately?

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The Philadelphia Parking Authority sucks. Here’s why.
Published May 14, 2015 by

The Philadelphia Parking Authority sucks. Here’s why.

If I’m guilty of doing something wrong, like speeding or parking illegally, I have no problem taking responsibility and paying the fine if I get caught. If it’s questionable, then fight it. I’ve done it. I think it’s lame when guilty parties try to get out of paying these kinds of fines. If you know you’re in the wrong, pay it and move on. You know you did it.

But when I’m railroaded into paying a fine even though I did not commit a violation, it results in a feeling of such desperate helplessness. There’s no other choice but roll over and give in because you absolutely can’t win.

The incident I’m going to describe upset me so much that I didn’t even want to write about it — when faced with bad shit, I don’t find it helpful to dwell on it or rant. I just like to move on, fast. But since the City of Philadelphia, in particular, the Philadelphia Parking Authority, has left me with no recourse, I’m doing the only thing I can do, which is to write about it here and hopefully 1) warn you so this doesn’t happen to you if you live in Philly or 2) make you happy that you don’t live here. (Don’t get me wrong, I love Philly, but the Philadelphia Parking Authority system is abysmal and is in desperate need of reform.)

So, here’s what happened.

I live on a block in South Philly that has no parking restrictions. Anyone can park there for as long as they want, even cars with out-of-state plates. This is rare — most blocks in my neighborhood have two-hour parking. (If you have a residential parking sticker, you can keep your car in a two-hour zone as long as you want.)

Since I only use my car twice a week usually, I haven’t bothered to get the residential parking sticker. After all, my block doesn’t require one, and I can find parking on my block almost all the time. I usually leave my car parked on my block for three or four days at a time, which is totally legal to do.

But in January, I was walking Sassy when I noticed a parking ticket on my car. Shocked, I opened it, and it said I violated the two-hour parking restriction. But my block doesn’t have any parking restrictions. Right away I went inside and contested the ticket online, writing a clear and concise paragraph about how I was given this ticket in error. It was $23.

I didn’t hear anything for a few months. During that time, Mike noticed a Philadelphia Parking Authority employee poised to write me another ticket, and I can only assume it was the same person. He asked her what she was doing, she said this car is over the time limit, and he told her there was no time limit. She looked around, realized he was right, and scrapped the ticket. So right there, she sees that writing tickets on my block is a mistake. But it was too late to undo what she’d already done a few months earlier.

(Both times, in January and the second time, other cars up and down the block had tickets, too, so it wasn’t just mine. Was the PPA employee new on the job? Maybe. No idea.)

So, in the beginning of April, I received a letter from the PPA saying my appeal was denied. What?!

Unlike the criminal courts, in which an accused person is innocent until proven guilty, the PPA operates on the opposite principle. If you’re given a ticket, it’s prima facie evidence that you’re guilty — the simple existence of a ticket means it’s accepted that you did it until proven otherwise.

I could contest the appeal, but I’d have to send my request via certified mail. Really, assholes? Certified mail? It gave me 29 days to do so.

Bringing the post office into the fold added a new layer of hell to this. The one in my neighborhood is like eight blocks away, it’s only open Monday through Friday, and it’s always crowded, so I’d have to wait for a weekday in which I could spare at least an hour to walk there, wait in line to send the certified letter, then walk home.

This is where I messed up. I marked it on my calendar, but I put the reminder at 30 days. On the morning of the 30th day, I decided I’d have to make time for this stupid errand and looked at the notice to find out what I needed to include in the certified letter. That’s when I saw I was a day late. Fuck!

I knew I’d have to pay the $23 fine now. Little did I know, it had almost quadrupled on that 30th day.

A few days later, this past Saturday, May 9, I received a mean letter letter saying the time was now $53. Ugh! I grabbed my phone to call and complain to someone, only to see that they’re open Monday through Friday. It’d have to wait.

On Monday, May 11, I received another jerky letter. This one said I owed $91! How did it nearly double between Saturday and Monday?

I called the PPA to get answers. Here’s what I was told:

  1. My appeal was insufficient. Sure, I wrote a paragraph explaining that my block didn’t have parking restrictions, but I did not offer any proof. So, the hearing examiner went on Google Maps to look at my block to see if he could see any parking signs. He did not see any, but the Google Maps images were taken in 2012, so he deemed them too old to be of use. WHAT?!

Me: So, the hearing examiner works for the PPA. Doesn’t the PPA keep a list of the blocks that have parking restrictions and the ones that don’t?

Unhelpful PPA Customer Service Person: Yes, we do, but it’s not his job to look that up. He can only go on the information you provided in your appeal. He did go on Google Maps, which he didn’t have to do, but the map was too old. You needed to provide evidence that your block does not have parking restrictions.

  1. So why did I get a thing in the mail on Saturday saying I now owe $53, then get another piece of paper on Monday, two days later, saying I have to pay $91? I received a rambling explanation I didn’t understand, but the bottom line was that the $53 one was an error. It’s not the only error the PPA made here.

  2. Because I missed my secondary appeal deadline, the only recourse I have now is to go through the Court of Common Pleas. In order to file a complaint through the court, I’d have to pay a $200 non-refundable fee. The Unhelpful PPA Customer Service Person gave me the main number for City Hall to get more info. Oh, great! Thanks!

After fuming for a few hours, I decided to call the PPA again. I got another unhelpful person who told me the same thing as the earlier one.

I fully admit to where I screwed up here in missing the secondary appeal deadline. But why was the PPA ticket person unleashed on the streets without knowing her territory? Was she not trained properly, not paying attention, or both?

And what the hell is up with the hearing examiner not willing to verify the information I gave? It wasn’t clear to me that in my appeal I’d need to provide evidence. What did they want? A video? Photos of the block? How would I even do that? I don’t think it was out of line of me to assume that the hearing examiner would look up my block and see that anyone is free to park there for as long as they want.

So, just to make this go away, I paid the $91 this morning. Only — in an extra “fuck you” — I was charged an additional $2.50 for the convenience of paying online. So the total amount of damage because of these motherfucking shit for brains city workers was $93.50.

Because I just know this will happen again, I printed out a form to apply for a residential parking sticker. Granted, I don’t need one to park on my block, but I can’t trust the PPA to know what they’re doing. It’s obvious they have no clue, and they don’t care.

My fellow Philly residents, do you have any fucked up PPA stories?

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