My dad died one year ago today. The last time I saw him was two days earlier, on Oct. 19, when we had lunch at Friendly’s. I’m pretty sure that was his very last meal at a restaurant.
And, as everyone knows, today is also the date that Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd reach in Back to the Future II, Oct. 21, 2015. I gotta say, if my dad had to die, I’m disappointed that it didn’t happen on this date instead.
For one thing, obviously, this is just a cooler date. Right? And also, he could’ve attended our wedding and heard about our trip to Scotland and I could have told him about how we drove through his old Scottish neighborhood. I also would’ve brought him back some shortbread cookies, which that you can get in the US, but they taste better in Scotland for some reason.
I miss him.
I’ve noticed something about how my dad’s death has changed how I feel about Halloween. It’s unfortunate that his funeral was a few days before Halloween, but it’s not like we could’ve done anything about that. I feel like the whole Halloween season has this shitty halo around it now, sort of how my mom’s death, which happened Dec. 13, 2006, created a shitty halo around Christmas. It’s just never the same after something like that happens so close to a holiday.
I’ve never been one of those super enthusiastic Halloween people, anyway. I like a good party and dressing up can be fun. But there were many years when I didn’t acknowledge it in any way.
This year, though, I can’t help but view Halloween as a silly, hokey thing. (And furthermore, what’s up with our national obsession with zombies?)
Of course, that won’t stop me from going to a Halloween party this year, and I know it’ll be a great time. But I just feel like I just no longer “get it.” Maybe next year will be better, or maybe I’m just getting old.
Life goes on.
Caption for featured photo: My family went to Bushkill Falls in the Pocono Mountains when I was 9 or 10 and my dad and I rode these carts down a mountain. I remember being terrified! My dad took this photo and I love how we’re elevated and can see the winding path that runs through the woods, and how nobody else was around. It wasn’t often that we spent one-on-one time together and I’ve always remembered this.