Sassy’s behavior has really gone downhill in the past six months or so due to her dementia, and we understand none of it is her fault. So we’ve been patient with her when she gets mouthy with us and when she goes to the bathroom in the house.
This morning, though, I completely lost it. And I feel awful.
She’s not really peeing or pooping on her walks very much anymore. It seems like she’s forgotten that relieving herself is one of the purposes of a walk.
So, we started letting her out in the back as soon as we get home. We give her a treat whenever she relieves herself appropriately, either in the back or on a walk, and just cleaning it up without flipping out if she goes inside.
But this morning, we got home from our walk and I was taking my shoes off. My next step was to let her out the back, but before I could do so, she peed on the floor right in front of me.
Luckily it was on the wood floor and not on the rug, but I felt SO frustrated and I let my frustration get the best of me.
I burst into tears, yelled at her, told her I hated her, and tried to get her to go outside. But yelling makes her run away, so I had to pick her up, which she doesn’t like — and she mouthed my hand — and plopped her on the ground out back.
It was awful and I feel absolutely terrible. I’m so ashamed of myself to have let my emotions get so out of hand when she’s in this vulnerable state. She has dog dementia. How will I ever forgive myself?
It’s like it had been building and building and I just exploded. I don’t want to be that type of person. It makes me sick that did that to my sweet puppy.
I just want this day to be over so I can do better tomorrow.
It just sucks.
It’s not her fault.